Avoidance, Gratitude, and Fuzzy Nirvana

Avoiding my blog has become an on and off—-mostly on— past time. I think “Oh, I’m in a pissy non-constructive/ destructive mood right now, I better find time when my thoughts are out of the pit of negativity”. Ha, like that happens on schedule. So let me find some gratitude that seems to shake me out of feeling pitiful.

Things I am Grateful for

1. It really is a privilege to be my kiddo’s mom. She really stepped up to be a leader this year in her 2nd grade class, I’m proud.

2. Second chances…. I might have a second chance to do my science and math over again. Since studying for the GRE and reading my High School Transcript, as well as other testing I’ve been convinced of the existence of dyscalculia or “math dyslexia”. It is not fun to go through school with TWO disorders affecting your performance, which leads you to think of yourself as stupid when compared to peers.

3. Companion Animals. My fuzzy companions have been here through it all. Dogs, ferrets, and cats are prozac with fur. I learn so much from each of them and could never repay them for the service they provide me.

4. My cousin. She is always there for me no matter how often I don’t drive the 60-90 min. it is to her house because she knows that driving is one of my “things”.

5.Hot water for bathing and coldish water for drinking

Mon. was an interesting day which ended in me sitting on the couch feeling “green”, nauseated, sweaty, and silly. We were late for Karate, but got some stretching in and when we practiced sparring skills the bouncing and quick movement were a bit too much. I was teetering on my feet but determined to stay in there, when Master Ray looked at me and said “Are you feeling sick?”. Really, I have no idea what he said, but somehow I teetered over to the bench and sat there before going to get a drink of water. I think it was the flu shot combined with new meds and a full stomach. The water I drank before we went home was divine.

Literacy

Perfection. Here’s to finding the beautiful messy perfection that make my house and thoughts chaotic. Looking at my sentences and compositions—what those–fifty thoughts don’t belong in one sentence? So often I don’t write. It really isn’t that I have nothing to say. (Perhaps I should start writing in mind maps… )Because anyone who knows me well knows I have plenty to say, when given a (sometimes) extended chance. Once in a while my ADD friends creep me out with how fast their brains work—and my proverbial mouse just stretched one paw up to the damn wheel and is trying to get going. See pic if you don’t understand.

slow and fast hamster is not always fast

Or my mouse just cant seem to get going at all. Then nothing is happening in there. Maybe it got tired? I seem to be good at verbal BS like that which is required by Balderdash, but not so much when it comes to writing or speaking in highstakes situations. Unless I’m required to trash talk or have humor about myself.

Recently, I had the opportunity to visit New Orleans, LA…otherwise known as (Nawlins) for a literacy conference. Because making connections is my superpower I combine my beautiful messy perfection with This Is What Family Literacy Looks Like at chez Chaos Is Normal.

My travel books 🙂

my reading from the Book Fair

more from the book fair and easter

How ya like me Meow

my cat apparently wants literacy lessons

bedtime schedule

on my door

swag from IRA14 conference

one of my daughters published works

Backyard Exploration

Kiddo relaxed and played her way through spring break. It was good not to have the pressures of school. Grandma came to visit and also had a relaxing time. Today we are all back to regularly scheduled programming. After taking my mom to the airport and saying a heartfelt goodbye, I was feeling a bit down and I remember I wanted to peruse the garden department at Lowe’s.

I strolled the aisles of springy plants, sniffing the flowers and dreaming of sprucing up our nest. I priced plants and other materials to make a Rain Gutter Sub-Irrigated Planter System.

Kiddo and I thought she forgot her homework at school so we had a backyard gardening kitty playdate. Marble also got to chase bugs. We also got to see him climb a few steps up the trunk of a tree.

Marble relaxing outside.

During our exploration of the backyard I joyfully noticed tiny baby buds popping from brown tree branches. Wayward baby trees plant themselves in my garden. Last year  instead of killing the baby tree I thought I’d replant it. A week ago I thought it was dead.

 

 

Poise, Paws, Pause: Blogging Again!

In the last while a few moments have been full of WIN:

• making my own soap

• starting blogging again 🙂
•  going out with some activist friends for some good eats and drinks
• a kitten named Marble (My Son)

In an attempt to combine the last few things (except the cat) I turned a word vomit post into a more refined blog post for momsrising.org, which I am nervous about.  It’s personal and about education, where I use my personal experiences with my daughter to criticize our addiction to standards.  Please let us not also standardize preschool. I’m not sure if I should include the ADHD/ Sensory Processing issues I think run in my family. Enough of that.

I need to get back on the meditation wagon. Ten minutes seems like forever, yet I used to be able to do 30.

chaotic note

3 Keys to Being Happy, No Matter What Happens

Warrior Wednesday: Mother Warrior

“The way of a warrior is based on humanity, love, and sincerity; the heart of martial valor is true bravery, wisdom, love, and friendship. Emphasis on the physical aspects of warriorship is futile, for the power of the body is always limited. ~The Art of Peace p59

I think this pic goes great along side my poem Warrior Queen. I might try and expand or revise it some. I wrote some poetry as a gratitude exercise yesterday. The Literacy Through Photography class last week really has me wanting to write more poetry.

chaotic note

Links I Like

Mindful Self-Compassion for Kids

The Mindful Path to Self-Compassion (Book Listing)

Antidotes to Anxiety-manage anxiety with humor