December 18, 2014
I hated registration as an undergraduate, really hated it. Somehow I managed to register for two classes at two different schools. It was frustrating. It’s over!!!
I’m feeling grateful about being able to get another chance at “fixing” some grades before applying again to graduate school. I appreciate all the encouragement I have been getting from family and friends.
Other things I am grateful for are:
– being introduced to a number of activist organizations around Raleigh and being privileged enough to be able to help their efforts.
– my son (and Alley Cats and Angels, Inc.) who saved my fuzzy boy. I’ve had a “bad” case of cat lap lately, which has been keeping me warm.
– I’m going to take a writing class! Perhaps I will be able to incorporate some assignments into blogging.
– All the encouragement I’ve been getting about my soap. I’m thinking about exploring how one goes about creating an inventory and schedule, big enough to sustain an etsy store.
– and of course I’m very thankful for my kiddo who is smart, strong, courageous, and kind.
December 8, 2014
Besides annoying my husband with my low sodium diet. I’ve got ideas. Lots of ideas. Plan A has always been teaching-speech therapy. This plan has been disrupted for quite a while now, and it is annoying me. Since finally taking the GRE again and seeing the scores I’ve had quite the Epiphany. I’d never done so well on test sections before because of not getting extra time. Looking back on my high school transcript was enlightening, because my focus has been on the struggle I had to get good grades. I forgot what kind of grades I did get. Most were B+’s and A-‘s.
I’ve been exploring a few of wake tech’s science programs (they have women in STEM/ women only science and math classes) and NCSU’s Bioprocessing Science web page. Now, I’ve convinced myself I can do enough math to do the program. I passed with a A- to B+!!!! High school Algebra, trigonometry, Chemistry, and Biology (and no accommodations for my LD/ADHD). I’ve rationalized it by saying to myself -if Kiddo doesn’t see women in Science how will she be successful. I love chemistry—aka for food and soap/ body products. So, I’ve put this under Plan B to C.
DH doesn’t really like parts of Plan B. *Gulp*, I’ve thought now that I have a kid, I want to *save* myself or at least my “kid” wits for her, because the kids I usually teach aren’t the most well behaved. They kept me sweating and on my toes constantly and, I’d rather do Math than have to tame those gremlins all day.
Says, the girl who supposedly hates math.
I really need to play coopoly–any takers?
November 27, 2014
Avoiding my blog has become an on and off—-mostly on— past time. I think “Oh, I’m in a pissy non-constructive/ destructive mood right now, I better find time when my thoughts are out of the pit of negativity”. Ha, like that happens on schedule. So let me find some gratitude that seems to shake me out of feeling pitiful.
Things I am Grateful for
1. It really is a privilege to be my kiddo’s mom. She really stepped up to be a leader this year in her 2nd grade class, I’m proud.
2. Second chances…. I might have a second chance to do my science and math over again. Since studying for the GRE and reading my High School Transcript, as well as other testing I’ve been convinced of the existence of dyscalculia or “math dyslexia”. It is not fun to go through school with TWO disorders affecting your performance, which leads you to think of yourself as stupid when compared to peers.
3. Companion Animals. My fuzzy companions have been here through it all. Dogs, ferrets, and cats are prozac with fur. I learn so much from each of them and could never repay them for the service they provide me.
4. My cousin. She is always there for me no matter how often I don’t drive the 60-90 min. it is to her house because she knows that driving is one of my “things”.
5.Hot water for bathing and coldish water for drinking
Mon. was an interesting day which ended in me sitting on the couch feeling “green”, nauseated, sweaty, and silly. We were late for Karate, but got some stretching in and when we practiced sparring skills the bouncing and quick movement were a bit too much. I was teetering on my feet but determined to stay in there, when Master Ray looked at me and said “Are you feeling sick?”. Really, I have no idea what he said, but somehow I teetered over to the bench and sat there before going to get a drink of water. I think it was the flu shot combined with new meds and a full stomach. The water I drank before we went home was divine.
November 18, 2014
Right now, I am feeling the bee sting and I want to back away from the computer. Honey Badger tenacity should be easier to conjure. Somehow, I did conjur one bad honey badger mama to sit for the GRE. As usual, verbal was well above average. I can’t believe I got a 5 out of 6 on the Analytical writing portion. What?! Math, as expected was below average several percentiles. And, that undergraduate gpa–always below THE minimum. I’m just not sure I can compete with applicants who haven’t had the AlpHaBeT soup of undiagnosed “disabilities” during their undergraduate careers. I know *crymeariver*, Honey Badger don’t give a &^&%^5; while, I still feel the need to say “Why can’t we all just get along?”. Chaos doesn’t fit in a box. The creativity cannot be contained.
June 27, 2014
Current Reading and commentary:
- A Peoples History of the US: Ch11- Robber Barrons and Rebels——>So many parallels to The Pitchforks Are Coming….For Us Plutocrats. The man who writes that article is very smart to realize we have been here before and blood was spilled. I would really like to know how much. I think I might go through Mr. Zinn’s Ch11 and record a body count and dates, because I want to know how many died so my family could have the weekend, the 8 hour day, and the minimum wage. Agitation with A Smile 🙂
- Hands on the Freedom Plow- My sub-title: Revolutionary women who lead the civil rights movement and their stories.
- GRE Exam Math Workbook- a few of my answers have been thrown off by ONE digit—-and no point/ cookie for me–even though I got the process right!!!!!!!! Fairness does not exist.
- Grammar for College Writing: I’ts like 8th grade english plus, all over again—– without the sentence diagramming.
- A Workbook for Argument: A Complete Course in Critical Thinking–I’m working on my writing so I can write a killer op-ed.
FTY: To Stephanie Lormand (and of course The Labor Movement) An unlikely pair to be so close together
🙂 My dear friend Stephanie Lormand had a wonderful op-ed in the News and Observer this week you can find a link to it in this blog post called Are School Aged Kids Tested More Often than Toxic Chemicals. Her op-ed was very inspiring to me. I hope one day I can write an op-ed about an issue I am passionate about.
June 6, 2014
Struggling to do something for myself I decided– not wanting to spend money on myself –had to stop. My brain was again lying to me. So, I dove in head first traveling solo- to NOLA (Ha!), spending a week alone, and intellectually engaging myself with continuing education credit seminars/ institutes. It was traveling back into time when I only worried about myself. The trip was an ice cold splash of water to the face on a hot and sticky day- sometimes literally because NOLA gets hot! I will forever love New Orleans because it will always remind me of this pivotal time. At some point after I returned I admitted to myself I needed a coach (this was going to cost money)–an ADHD coach or an Academic/GRE coach–or a tutor–to get me to the point where I know I will have some efficacy in taking this exam. And also to get me to the point where I will not feel defeated and shameful about my performance because I know I gave it all I’ve got.
Isn’t that the point? This life is to give it all you’ve got. Make it memorable and meaningful! As I wrote at the bottom of my study sheet for inspiration— Kiddo will be a teenager in 6.5 years and not so randomly, Hooker shoes in computer dressup games. Stiletto heels that deform your foot– IN A KIDS GAME. When kiddo is teen-kiddo I will need to distract myself (at times) from the marginalization of girls on the brink of womanhood. So, in short I am going full steam ahead because it will save my sanity. Now, this doesn’t mean I will forever forget about this marginalization. No, I will confront it head on as I have been since I became aware of it. I will continue to fight it with karate and community. As long as we have those things I think we will be fine.
Scattermom has dragged me back into the world of politics–kicking and screaming—so last night I went to a Food Co-op meeting. The community vibes in that place were rocking- it’s been meeting for about 2 years now. And yes, I have been wanting to go to a meeting for that long. A speaker at Action NC‘s women’s empowerment breakfast is a member of the food co-op organization. She spoke about the need to build instead of fight. I’m so tired of fighting sometimes I have no words- no polite words. I have to bow out and let others do the talking. I want to create and facilitate, not fight–I guess that is the teacher part of me. She also has been rearing her head when I think of the GRE lately. I’m seeing it more as an opportunity to brush up skills I will need for the future, therefore preparing for the test could never be a waste of time. Regardless of my score I think I want to see it as a victory.
If you are in the RDU area and want to sign up for Fertile Ground’s Food Co-op I can get you a membership form and/ or provide you with more information.
FTY: Fertile Ground Cooperative
In Thanks for this Friday (FTY) I’d like to give a hat tip to all Cooperators keeping the dream alive. Including those at Fertile Ground. You are powerful. You will make it happen. Failure is Impossible! Perhaps in my time we will see indivdualized labor unions, buisnesses, and associations turned into cooperatives.