December 8, 2014
Besides annoying my husband with my low sodium diet. I’ve got ideas. Lots of ideas. Plan A has always been teaching-speech therapy. This plan has been disrupted for quite a while now, and it is annoying me. Since finally taking the GRE again and seeing the scores I’ve had quite the Epiphany. I’d never done so well on test sections before because of not getting extra time. Looking back on my high school transcript was enlightening, because my focus has been on the struggle I had to get good grades. I forgot what kind of grades I did get. Most were B+’s and A-‘s.
I’ve been exploring a few of wake tech’s science programs (they have women in STEM/ women only science and math classes) and NCSU’s Bioprocessing Science web page. Now, I’ve convinced myself I can do enough math to do the program. I passed with a A- to B+!!!! High school Algebra, trigonometry, Chemistry, and Biology (and no accommodations for my LD/ADHD). I’ve rationalized it by saying to myself -if Kiddo doesn’t see women in Science how will she be successful. I love chemistry—aka for food and soap/ body products. So, I’ve put this under Plan B to C.
DH doesn’t really like parts of Plan B. *Gulp*, I’ve thought now that I have a kid, I want to *save* myself or at least my “kid” wits for her, because the kids I usually teach aren’t the most well behaved. They kept me sweating and on my toes constantly and, I’d rather do Math than have to tame those gremlins all day.
Says, the girl who supposedly hates math.
I really need to play coopoly–any takers?
November 27, 2014
I cooked my turkey on Wed. and completed soup yesterday. DH doesn’t want to eat turkey on the traditional day, so this is how I work around it. I’m officially on a “half as much as I used to eat, not diet” to reduce my sodium intake and blood pressure.
The most interesting thing that has happened recently has been my epiphany about college and math ….and I wrote the following email to my dh
My Quant GRE score made it painfully clear that my brain learns differently and therefore, if I know this I can be taught and tested differently. The reason I went into teaching and speech is because there was not a lot of math requirements. Now I know with the right adaptations I can take those classes. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have to be my own advocate and fight for what I need, but I CAN DO MATH- not like a typical person can, but I can do eeet. My problems with math have been appropriate educational ACCESS. (Please do click on the link) By law, a college has to provide access for someone with a disability.
Big change in the way I am thinking about things. Give me a bit of time to sit with it. The classes at wake tech are easier to get into and cheaper. They will renew my teaching licensure, as well as give me an opportunity to work with professors in a science field in a small group setting, which helps me stay focused. It shows my dedication to remediating my undergraduate gpa. And, I will likely get good references from professors, which sets me up to reapply to the graduate speech program.
We always talk about needing more women in STEM fields, right. How about science, that is a stem field. If Kiddo wants to partake of a STEM field she will have to be encouraged. AKA, see other women in the field. So, why not me?
So, really my thinking about further schooling has been turned on its head, and I am open to possibilities. I’m attempting to sign up for an all women biology class at my local community college. I am waiting for my transcript to arrive, so I can register. I think this will be an interesting experience in many ways. Now that I am actually treated for ADHD I know I can be extremely successful.
November 27, 2014
Avoiding my blog has become an on and off—-mostly on— past time. I think “Oh, I’m in a pissy non-constructive/ destructive mood right now, I better find time when my thoughts are out of the pit of negativity”. Ha, like that happens on schedule. So let me find some gratitude that seems to shake me out of feeling pitiful.
Things I am Grateful for
1. It really is a privilege to be my kiddo’s mom. She really stepped up to be a leader this year in her 2nd grade class, I’m proud.
2. Second chances…. I might have a second chance to do my science and math over again. Since studying for the GRE and reading my High School Transcript, as well as other testing I’ve been convinced of the existence of dyscalculia or “math dyslexia”. It is not fun to go through school with TWO disorders affecting your performance, which leads you to think of yourself as stupid when compared to peers.
3. Companion Animals. My fuzzy companions have been here through it all. Dogs, ferrets, and cats are prozac with fur. I learn so much from each of them and could never repay them for the service they provide me.
4. My cousin. She is always there for me no matter how often I don’t drive the 60-90 min. it is to her house because she knows that driving is one of my “things”.
5.Hot water for bathing and coldish water for drinking
Mon. was an interesting day which ended in me sitting on the couch feeling “green”, nauseated, sweaty, and silly. We were late for Karate, but got some stretching in and when we practiced sparring skills the bouncing and quick movement were a bit too much. I was teetering on my feet but determined to stay in there, when Master Ray looked at me and said “Are you feeling sick?”. Really, I have no idea what he said, but somehow I teetered over to the bench and sat there before going to get a drink of water. I think it was the flu shot combined with new meds and a full stomach. The water I drank before we went home was divine.
November 18, 2014
Right now, I am feeling the bee sting and I want to back away from the computer. Honey Badger tenacity should be easier to conjure. Somehow, I did conjur one bad honey badger mama to sit for the GRE. As usual, verbal was well above average. I can’t believe I got a 5 out of 6 on the Analytical writing portion. What?! Math, as expected was below average several percentiles. And, that undergraduate gpa–always below THE minimum. I’m just not sure I can compete with applicants who haven’t had the AlpHaBeT soup of undiagnosed “disabilities” during their undergraduate careers. I know *crymeariver*, Honey Badger don’t give a &^&%^5; while, I still feel the need to say “Why can’t we all just get along?”. Chaos doesn’t fit in a box. The creativity cannot be contained.
March 18, 2014
In the last while a few moments have been full of WIN:
- starting blogging again 🙂
- going out with some activist friends for some good eats and drinks
- a kitten named Marble (My Son)
In an attempt to combine the last few things (except the cat) I turned a word vomit post into a more refined blog post for momsrising.org, which I am nervous about. It’s personal and about education, where I use my personal experiences with my daughter to criticize our addiction to standards. Please let us not also standardize preschool. I’m not sure if I should include the ADHD/ Sensory Processing issues I think run in my family. Enough of that.
I need to get back on the meditation wagon. Ten minutes seems like forever, yet I used to be able to do 30.