Right now, I am feeling the bee sting and I want to back away from the computer. Honey Badger tenacity should be easier to conjure. Somehow, I did conjur one bad honey badger mama to sit for the GRE. As usual, verbal was well above average. I can’t believe I got a 5 out of 6 on the Analytical writing portion. What?! Math, as expected was below average several percentiles. And, that undergraduate gpa–always below THE minimum. I’m just not sure I can compete with applicants who haven’t had the AlpHaBeT soup of undiagnosed “disabilities” during their undergraduate careers. I know *crymeariver*, Honey Badger don’t give a &^&%^5; while, I still feel the need to say “Why can’t we all just get along?”. Chaos doesn’t fit in a box. The creativity cannot be contained.
Struggling to do something for myself I decided– not wanting to spend money on myself –had to stop. My brain was again lying to me. So, I dove in head first traveling solo- to NOLA (Ha!), spending a week alone, and intellectually engaging myself with continuing education credit seminars/ institutes. It was traveling back into time when I only worried about myself. The trip was an ice cold splash of water to the face on a hot and sticky day- sometimes literally because NOLA gets hot! I will forever love New Orleans because it will always remind me of this pivotal time. At some point after I returned I admitted to myself I needed a coach (this was going to cost money)–an ADHD coach or an Academic/GRE coach–or a tutor–to get me to the point where I know I will have some efficacy in taking this exam. And also to get me to the point where I will not feel defeated and shameful about my performance because I know I gave it all I’ve got.
Isn’t that the point? This life is to give it all you’ve got. Make it memorable and meaningful! As I wrote at the bottom of my study sheet for inspiration— Kiddo will be a teenager in 6.5 years and not so randomly, Hooker shoes in computer dressup games. Stiletto heels that deform your foot– IN A KIDS GAME. When kiddo is teen-kiddo I will need to distract myself (at times) from the marginalization of girls on the brink of womanhood. So, in short I am going full steam ahead because it will save my sanity. Now, this doesn’t mean I will forever forget about this marginalization. No, I will confront it head on as I have been since I became aware of it. I will continue to fight it with karate and community. As long as we have those things I think we will be fine.
Scattermom has dragged me back into the world of politics–kicking and screaming—so last night I went to a Food Co-op meeting. The community vibes in that place were rocking- it’s been meeting for about 2 years now. And yes, I have been wanting to go to a meeting for that long. A speaker at Action NC‘s women’s empowerment breakfast is a member of the food co-op organization. She spoke about the need to build instead of fight. I’m so tired of fighting sometimes I have no words- no polite words. I have to bow out and let others do the talking. I want to create and facilitate, not fight–I guess that is the teacher part of me. She also has been rearing her head when I think of the GRE lately. I’m seeing it more as an opportunity to brush up skills I will need for the future, therefore preparing for the test could never be a waste of time. Regardless of my score I think I want to see it as a victory.
If you are in the RDU area and want to sign up for Fertile Ground’s Food Co-op I can get you a membership form and/ or provide you with more information.
In Thanks for this Friday (FTY) I’d like to give a hat tip to all Cooperators keeping the dream alive. Including those at Fertile Ground. You are powerful. You will make it happen. Failure is Impossible! Perhaps in my time we will see indivdualized labor unions, buisnesses, and associations turned into cooperatives.
Well, my photos are a whole year backed up in my drop box setting. Ok, so some of them are over a year old. So, I struggled and downloaded to get these pics. I’ve never used the gallery before so let us see how it works. My family has been having fun digging in the dirt and relaxing in the backyard.
Kiddo relaxed and played her way through spring break. It was good not to have the pressures of school. Grandma came to visit and also had a relaxing time. Today we are all back to regularly scheduled programming. After taking my mom to the airport and saying a heartfelt goodbye, I was feeling a bit down and I remember I wanted to peruse the garden department at Lowe’s.
I strolled the aisles of springy plants, sniffing the flowers and dreaming of sprucing up our nest. I priced plants and other materials to make a Rain Gutter Sub-Irrigated Planter System.
Kiddo and I thought she forgot her homework at school so we had a backyard gardening kitty playdate. Marble also got to chase bugs. We also got to see him climb a few steps up the trunk of a tree.
During our exploration of the backyard I joyfully noticed tiny baby buds popping from brown tree branches. Wayward baby trees plant themselves in my garden. Last year instead of killing the baby tree I thought I’d replant it. A week ago I thought it was dead.
A while back I posted about reading Freedom’s Teacher and writing about it. Yes, I know empty promises (so far). I picked up that book again today and started outlining and rereading. The first reading of a book for me only gives an introduction. I get really caught up in the story and need to know how it all turns out. A 2nd reading will give me more depth. And so my 2nd reading begins. In a search for Septima I found this gem of a blog post over at self-rescuing princess society and quote that I happen to LOVE, you’ll see why (emphasis mine):
I have a great belief in the fact that whenever there is chaos, it creates wonderful thinking. I consider chaos a gift.
-Septima Poinsette Clark
From pg2. Introduction
Four decades of teaching and civic organizing shaped how she percieved the fundamental problems confronting the southern black community, including the need for better schools, better health care, better job opportunities and wages, and increased voter participation–particularly among black women–in local, state, and federal affairs.
It seems like someone could have written this today. Communities face different problems in scope but they remain at the core.
The book goes on to say that she developed the foundation for the civil rights movement, her teachers trained more than twenty five thousand people, who were often active participants in SLCS’s campaigns.
If you didn’t have time to sign up for Melissa Harris Perry’s Nerland Scholar Challenge you can see links to all the articles of interest.
Just reading the articles and what MHP has posted made me aware of just how white the suffragists were.