June 6, 2014
Struggling to do something for myself I decided– not wanting to spend money on myself –had to stop. My brain was again lying to me. So, I dove in head first traveling solo- to NOLA (Ha!), spending a week alone, and intellectually engaging myself with continuing education credit seminars/ institutes. It was traveling back into time when I only worried about myself. The trip was an ice cold splash of water to the face on a hot and sticky day- sometimes literally because NOLA gets hot! I will forever love New Orleans because it will always remind me of this pivotal time. At some point after I returned I admitted to myself I needed a coach (this was going to cost money)–an ADHD coach or an Academic/GRE coach–or a tutor–to get me to the point where I know I will have some efficacy in taking this exam. And also to get me to the point where I will not feel defeated and shameful about my performance because I know I gave it all I’ve got.
Isn’t that the point? This life is to give it all you’ve got. Make it memorable and meaningful! As I wrote at the bottom of my study sheet for inspiration— Kiddo will be a teenager in 6.5 years and not so randomly, Hooker shoes in computer dressup games. Stiletto heels that deform your foot– IN A KIDS GAME. When kiddo is teen-kiddo I will need to distract myself (at times) from the marginalization of girls on the brink of womanhood. So, in short I am going full steam ahead because it will save my sanity. Now, this doesn’t mean I will forever forget about this marginalization. No, I will confront it head on as I have been since I became aware of it. I will continue to fight it with karate and community. As long as we have those things I think we will be fine.
Scattermom has dragged me back into the world of politics–kicking and screaming—so last night I went to a Food Co-op meeting. The community vibes in that place were rocking- it’s been meeting for about 2 years now. And yes, I have been wanting to go to a meeting for that long. A speaker at Action NC‘s women’s empowerment breakfast is a member of the food co-op organization. She spoke about the need to build instead of fight. I’m so tired of fighting sometimes I have no words- no polite words. I have to bow out and let others do the talking. I want to create and facilitate, not fight–I guess that is the teacher part of me. She also has been rearing her head when I think of the GRE lately. I’m seeing it more as an opportunity to brush up skills I will need for the future, therefore preparing for the test could never be a waste of time. Regardless of my score I think I want to see it as a victory.
If you are in the RDU area and want to sign up for Fertile Ground’s Food Co-op I can get you a membership form and/ or provide you with more information.
FTY: Fertile Ground Cooperative
In Thanks for this Friday (FTY) I’d like to give a hat tip to all Cooperators keeping the dream alive. Including those at Fertile Ground. You are powerful. You will make it happen. Failure is Impossible! Perhaps in my time we will see indivdualized labor unions, buisnesses, and associations turned into cooperatives.
April 30, 2011
I want to thank my dad today for gardening and growing my family and neighbors food over the years. By doing it I knew I could too.
Dad and Baby Chaos!
I have dirt under my finger nails from transplanting my christmas tree and parsley. I am lusting after basil and lavendar plants at Lowes Hardware. My younger self is cringing. The romaine is looking good. I’ve decided to plant some in pots and station them in front of windows when the weather gets too hot for them to be outside. Hopefully, I will be able to give away and eat most of the romaine I’ve grown.
Experimental Romaine in a pot.
Kiddo is karate-ing and I am looking forward to joining when my tutoring stint is over. I started doing some of the strength training and stretching at home.
I realize I need to eliminate the word I in my writing and thinking. It has been said in certain yoga workshops I’ve attended that meditation students are often told not to use it for a year or more as an exercise.
November 24, 2010
I was having myself a little pity party. All this TSA theatre is bringing me down.Then I decided to re-read some of my meditation book Coming to Our Senses. I dunno but I think this is what Jon Stewart was trying to say in his interview with Rachel Maddow
from The Taming Power of The Small in Coming to Our Senses(link above)
We are wont to villify particularly egregious emergences of ignorance as evil. This allows us to assert categorically our own identification with goodness in contradistinction. It is a gross and ultimately unhelpful gloss, even if there are elements of truth in it. Both views, of others as evil and of ourselves as good, may be better characterized as ignorant. For both ignore the fundamental disease, the one that manifests in human beings when we fall prey to unawareness of the preciousness of life, and wantonly or witlessly harm others in seeking pleasure or power for ourselves.
Coming to Our Senses is going to be a book I buy to read again and again.
These vids/ orgs make me HAPPY!!
Electronic-Take Back Coalition
microscopic art slideshow (#8 is my favorite)
10 ways to be gracious
Opening to You: Zen Inspired Translations of the Psalms, Norman Fischer
November 1, 2010
Reading and Listening to All Along the Watchtower and watching streaming Netflix National Geographic Program Collapse (short video link) got me thinking how beautifully prophetic Jimi Hendrix’s song is.
All along the watchtower
Princes kept the view
While all the women came and went
Bare-foot servants to, but huh
Outside in the cold distance
A wild cat did growl
Two riders were approachin
And the wind began to howl
All along the watchtower
Hear you sing around the watch
Gotta beware gotta beware I will
Princes will always “keep the view”. The wind and the growling wildcat aka environment/ activism?
There are three NatGeo programs I have watched recently. I started with Guns Germs and Steel: The Fates of Human Societies. Next I watched The Human Family: Tracing The Human Journey Through Time. Finally I watched Collapse: How Societies Choose to Fail or Survive. It was quite a trilogy. Jared Diamond appeared in the first and last of the Documentaries. This page is a list of his Awards and Honors, impressive if you ask me.
Here’s a few that are relevant to Guns, Germs, and Steel as well as Collapse.
I really like how Collapse ends. It ends on a decidedly positive note. We have a choice now that we know. What will we each choose? Collapse projects we have 20 years. I personally feel like we are seeing the beginnings of it~~~large spaces abandoned in strip malls, anyone?
What can we choose to amplify? I would like to see these programs “amplified”!! J. Stewart, Jimi, and Jared are diamonds in the ruff if you will.
P.S. thanks J. Stewart for that moment of sincerity: video and text.