Wandering Weasel

October 14, 2010

This post was inspired by Garbage and today’s rain.

So yesterdays post was supposed to include three books, ha. Well at least I got a post up there. I like to wander or as I see it explore all possibilities. If there’s a crack under that door, I could weasel my way through. It’s why I love ferrets.

Today was a back to basics day. I cooked one of my favorite meals. My thoughts went in circles while I tried to avoid asking people for things I need. I found myself consistently not wanting to be fully present. Since certainty is an illusion there is no permanent reference point I can cling to. I try to bring myself back to breathing, sights, sounds, smells, and sensations. (Hey, I’m good at breathing! I was called a champion breather when I was in labor with the Kiddo.) In a way I feel like I am trying to have all new senses. Much like Marcel here says we must have new eyes.

The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes. ~Marcel Proust

I’ve made some real progress over the last few months in discovering new landscapes. In fact just a few months ago I would have not posted today because of frustration with my computer, which has a bit of mouse/ keyboard lag.

Poetry: Warrior Queen

February 10, 2010

Warrior Queen

eternally guards her young

births interdependent truths

Warrior Queen

celebrated and scorned

holds the world in Her palm


August 3, 2008

birth story in abbreviated form

These are great stories..

here’s mine:

breathe, laugh, love


What will I do with this next chapter? Its largely up to fate & medicine whether I birth another baby. Beyond that I still don’t know what I want my story to look like. I like being around babies and moms my birth experience was good. I could try the doula thing. I could try to go back to school for Speech. I guess I am not in the right place/time to make that decision. On to trying again..

Medieval maternal torture device?

July 25, 2008

*and now more invasive……whoo hoo

Birth Track

I am totally mortified by this device that has cervical clamps to measure dilation….I think this is actually sadder than the AMA wanting to outlaw homebirth

Check out birth activist’s post on Birth Track, she actually spoke to a company rep. about their machine and reveals some interesting insights about birth in the US, and the machine in general

from her talk with the company rep

I next inquired about the ability to move around. He explained that there are two phases of labor, the latent phase and the active phase, and that during the latent phase is when the doctor wants the woman to walk the hallways and move around, but once she is dilated to 3 – 4 centimeters she is going to be in a lot of pain and will want to stay in bed. He told me that contractions will be so bad at this point that women wont be able to stand up through them.

I went out to eat Chinese food when I was 6cm dilated…….hehehe

He told me that the epidural causes cesareans because, since there is no pain, then oxytocin is not released, which stops progression of labor. I pointed out that another issue with an epidural is that the woman is laying on her back in bed, and not moving around to facilitate the baby being able to move through the pelvis, and her pelvis can’t move to allow for the baby to come through it. He then finally saw what I was getting at and assured me that women could move with the device on. He said they could roll in bed, squat by the bed, or use other positions, by the bed. They can not walk around unless they disconnect the machine, which he indicated would be no problem at all and that women can do this easily to use the bathroom.

I’m a little shocked by this, usually the standard line is an epidural has no side effect on labor or the baby.

Loverly Timing

July 13, 2008

So heres the time aspect of the whole thing, I have to wait until Thurs. for surgery, when I want closure to this NOW. DeeR hz has to go away on business to take a test for his new certification/ career path. So Friday my rest and recover day I will be spending with Sophie monster/ friend to help with anything I cannot do.

If they try and induce me the worst thing that could happen would be an emergency D&E. I wonder if then I would have to be scheduled for an induction at the same hospital that does the D&E’s. An induction I believe will be a more flexibly scheduled procedure, as opposed to the D&E. I am told that the D&E can only be done by a few skilled docs at certain hospitals. I dont get that what if someone needs one in an emergency? It must be that they are scheduled at certain hospitals. It still doesn’t make sense that my regular OB cannot a schedule a D&E someplace. This whole situation reeks of politics because only certain places/ docs can schedule this kind of procedure, when so many of them must have the training to do it. I say this is politically motivated because a second trimester abortion is essentially the same procedure (minus the fetal demise factor).

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