The Black Box

At chez de Chaos we have an altar shelf dedicated to the feminine divine. This is the only area which I can keep clean and organized where I keep the ashes of my dead ferrets. The Black Box also resides on that shelf. I tell Kryten that my shrunken black heart is in there, really there are just matches for my incense. And I don’t really keep the ferrets ashes there either.

Along this journey I’ve accumulated a certain amount of pent up rage and when ignited it can be quite blinding. This is one reason I started meditating. The hippie-artsy me imagines this box to contain pent up rage. Which I think might look like this cats eye nebula (I’m keeping with the cat theme):

Don’t ask me why but putting pictures to these feelings really helps. I also imagine this is what happens to some of my cells when cortisol and other stress hormones are released because I can’t keep my cool.

When I do keep my cool and harness that energy well then anything is possible.

“Even as women make inroads in politics, on production lots, in corporations, and on the playing field, the contours of the male-dominated status quo shift only slightly. …..A wide breach remains between an ideal world of sexual equality and the realities of women’s lives. Female rage is created by this chasm and swirls in the cross fire, between expectations that raise hopes and the real world that makes us see red.” p. 5 Female Rage: Unlocking Its Secrets, Claiming Its Power

If I can’t acknowledge and transform this rage, how will I deal with my daughter’s when she realizes this? Sprinkle some ADHD/ learning disabilities on top, you might get yourself even more rage.

A funny thing happened today while I was doing my yoga/ meditating. I thought about the cats eye nebula and wondered what a visual of this energy harnessed would look like. And no joke I thought of a tiny yellow flower at first and then a larger orange flower—>which led me to remembering this book cover! Bingo.

Bonus Link to check out BookSlut

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