From Don’t Blame Mother by Paula Caplan Ph.D.”Perfect (Good) Mother myths establish standards every woman will fail to meet, Bad Mother myths make mothers’ ordinary behavior seem worse than it really is”
Perfect Mother Myths
1. The Measure of a Good Mother is a “Perfect” Daughter– results in mother/people pleasing, bossy mommy/ enforcer of all things socially acceptable. If you watch little girls play you can see this extremely clearly.
2. Mothers are Endless Founts of Nurturance– *author cites this may be the most damaging mother-myth* training daughter to take care of mother in preparation for her role as nurturer; also why we expect the world from our mothers but not fathers
3. Mothers Naturally Know How to Raise Children– I expected both of us just to know how to do the breastfeeding thing..
4. Mothers (and Good Daughters) Don’t Get Angry– Anger is unfeminine (yikes it might cause us to act and change something we don’t like) hark the angel says: best just to accept and move on
I am not really angry at my mom, but societies imposition of what femininity is. Looking back at what little I know of my mom’s experiences reminds me society treated her like she was invisible.