A long time ago I read Slaying the Mermaid: Women and the Culture of Sacrifice. The new book I am reading “Don’t Blame Mother” is reminding me of that book. It brings up a recurring theme seen in other feminist books I have read, women are commonly seen in two lights. This runs through religion as well. I am going to clump them all together.
whore, wicked witch, bad mother (selfish) vs. angel, virgin mother, perfect (self-negating/ sacrificing)
Because the social expectations of motherwork are vast and society doesn’t place value in it, daughters feel they have to be perfect. (They didn’t mention sons but I would imagine it could be applied. At some point every child wants to please their mom.) When daughters think they have let mom down it leads to guilt, which builds into anger. The blame is placed on the mother not the social structure that leads to this situation.
My personal experience has shown this to be true. It sure seems to me that being a single mother is extremely hard work in every way you look at it. Economically women make less than, so just feeding, clothing, & childcare would definetly be a stretch.