ReBirth of Chaos is Normal: The Wild Ride

We were in the car when I attempted to talk to the director of the birth center. For the second time she asked me if the contractions were starting in my back and wrapping around my front, but they weren’t. They were in my hips and traveling down my legs. This was an extremely wierd sensation. Later I learned that it was because S was asynclitic, having her head cocked a little to the side. That was why my labor didn’t kick into warp speed. From what I read later, I think it stalled my dilation at 6 cm for a couple of hours.

The cooler was directly behind my seat and for some reason I thought I could not move my seat backwards any. So my seat was pushed all the way to the front, as close to the dash as possible with (in transition) pregnant me sitting squished. I was extremely vocal during the whole 30 min. ride there. I mean I moaned, screamed, not screeched all the way there. Apparently I kept saying to C “pull over, this baby is coming out”. Don’t remember that. I do remember seeing a cop on the road and looking at the spedometer. C was going 80+ mph. Being squished in the seat made the pain radiating down my hips into my legs much worse. After enduring as much as I could I finally asked C if the seat would move back. He told me it would. WTF? Why hadn’t I asked him that sooner….

Finally when we arrived, I dragged my sorry ass into the birth center. They asked me how I felt and I just shook my head and groaned a little. Upon taking my blood pressure it was 140/ some insane number, they started talking about a transfer to the hospital. When out of the room C told them to quit talking about my blood pressure, cause of my anxiety issues. About 15 min. later it was better and no one mentioned it again.

I got into the tub for a little while and was flopping and sliding around so much it was uncomfortable. Every time I would have a contraction I wanted to move but ended up slipping around. I got out of the tub and moved into many positions using the ball and pillows. Everyone kept laughing when I was propped up on the bed because I kept falling over to the side and they would have to re-prop me. The director came in to visit me and gave me her “special fan” because I kept saying I was hot. Before she left she told me that I looked like a “birthing goddess”, and I was a champion breather. Through contractions I would try and hold onto C but he was so warm that I couldn’t.

After a while the midwife kept asking me if I felt like pushing. I didn’t. After about the third time I tried, and then they checked to see if I was fully dilated. They found that I still had the anterior lip of my cervix in the way. I’m glad they figured that out before I kept pushing for a long time.

Finally,I was fully dilated and it was time to push….I had no urge and kept thinking I could just breathe her on out, he he. Silly me. The contractions were really getting to me by this time because I was so tired. I started to panic and ask for drugs I didn’t think I could push her out through the contractions. All three of the women who attended the birth looked at me with the most gentle, understanding, and calm eyes and told me the only way to stop the pain was to push through it. I just remember thinking they have got to be kidding there is no way I am gonna be able to add pain to pain by pushing this kid out. I am sure they repeated that statement to me several times before I got over my denial and started screaming and grunting with every push. Then I had to figure out just how hard I needed to push to get her out. They tried the mirror thing on me but by this time I was so tired I wanted no part of it. I just tried to trust them when they said I did a good job pushing.

When she got to a point where I could reach down and feel her head,I did and boy did this give me some steam. When I felt her head everything stopped and I felt so happy
By this time I was done, I wanted her out and the pain to be over. There was no waiting for stretching, I tried to shoot her across the room. She ripped me a new one…..a 2nd degree tear, that bled lots and required a good amount of time for stitching.

S came out finally, they put her immediately on my stomach and cleaned her up some. I held her tight and gazed at her with relief. She smelled soooooooo awesome, I couldn’t believe it. I just kept sniffing her the whole first day she was with us. I was so totally absorbed by her smell that I didn’t notice the huge puddles of blood on the floor and bed. Somehow I even got blood above the head of the bed on to the wall! C took video with our camera after she came out and then took lots of still pics later. They had to stitch me up so I couldn’t nurse her right away, which I wanted so badly.

When they were done with the repair, I needed to get up to try and go to the bathroom. This didn’t work out so well. I sat up and passed out while leaning on the midwife. I awoke to all three of the women leaning over me and staring. I remember saying “Uh…what’s that smell?”. They had to cath me because I couldn’t get up. I proceeded to pass out 2 other times as well, when trying to make it to the bathroom. After the 2nd time I suggested they give me IV fluids and they agreed.

I had her at 2 am on the 13th and we were home by 2 pm on the 13th. It was awesome to sleep in my own bed that day.

Next up: The Postpartum Weeks

3 Responses to ReBirth of Chaos is Normal: The Wild Ride

  1. I’m such a dumb ass, I forgot my wordpress login.

    Tear-ouch! I almost wonder if a c-section was easier.


  2. chaos says:

    I didn’t even feel the tear when it happened…it was the 4 weeks after sitting on it and trying to breastfeed that really hurt mah coochie.


  3. […] and sensations. (Hey, I’m good at breathing! I was called a champion breather when I was in labor with the Kiddo.) In a way I feel like I am trying to have all new senses. Much like Marcel here says we must have […]


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