Camping with Kiddo

We made the mistake of giving kiddo the impression that camping was when you set up your tent play in it and then sleep in your bed. She made it all 6 hours without having a fit in the car, and we do not have a dvd player. Amazing for a toddler. Sleeping on the ground for three nights is all these old hips can handle.
Anymore than that would have been moderately painful.

Day 1: arrive late, set up tent and tarp then go get bbq at a restaurant with the family. The crickets seem extra special loud, think almost Techno loud. It rains at night and our stuff gets wet. Kiddo and huz do not sleep good. We wake up to it raining, our shoes are soaked. Thank goodness for flip flops. Later that day we air dry the tent and sleeping bags.

Day 2: Loud crickets, very very loud crickets. The Got Jesus people hear me say to huz, while he watches me get dressed in the tent “Are you gonna stick 20 dollars in my pants?”.
They all look at us. I’m oblivious and loud. We visit the Folk School and see the families art. Grandma Noodle gets Moshie loves. “Firewood” was purchased. We all get together for coney dogs. Kiddo jumps off the boat and into the water, while the whole family watches. (she had on floaties) We burn a whole sunday paper trying to light a fire. Kiddo barfs three times in the tent. Huz/ angel rescued the kittie and blankie from puke.

Day 3: We visit Grandma Noodle’s workshop and the gift shop at the Folk School. After we go swimming at the condo’s pool. It is pizza and salad nite at Grandma Noodle Noodle’s. We invite the family to our campsite for smores. Chaos erupts. We have to “bring forth the unholy liquid”. (that’s a whole ‘nother post) Kiddo passes out in safe distance from fire. The family sings during smores consumption.

Day 4: We pack up and say goodbye. Exhausted and sick Kiddo makes the drive with only one tantrum.

Circles and Squares

We have a new Medical Reimbursement process which requires you save all the receipts and then send them in, so they can verify that they are indeed a medical expense. Even if they say things like County Emergency Medical Services, what a pain in my butt. So for the last several weeks I keep getting new medical bill after new medical bill both from this year and last years miscarriages. Realizing the last year seems like one big circular cluster*uck that will take some work to get over. And that’s Okay.

Other things I’ve been up to:

  • playdates, pool, and hanging out
  • watching the muppets (as usual)
  • potty learning with lollipop (<—-for #2) and sticker rewards
  • yelling “touch the square” in parking lots, the square being my car’s gas tank door, so antsy toddler does not run in traffic
  • planning a trip to Rhode Island and upstate NY so we can visit family
  • brooding over not having money
  • reminding myself I need time to heal (and that’s OK)
  • running/walking (new best times 1 mile in 12:22,11:50&11:15)
  • being continually amazed of how big this Twilight thing is

One of my new fav. twilight links

A twilight primer/ cliffnotes

Twilight in Fifteen Minutes, part of the Movies in Fifteen Minutes series I’ve been doing since 2003.

EDWARD: SAY MY NAME, BITCH

BELLA: EDWARD

EDWARD: NO, THE OTHER ONE

BELLA: ASSHOLE

EDWARD: NO, THE OTHER ONE

BELLA: VAMPIRE, OKAY? VAMPIRE

Darklost

definition of darklost from Booklore/ Mick Farren’s Book

Darklost, a human brought partway along the road to becoming Nosferatu and then cruelly abandoned.

Replace Nosferatu with “becoming a mother” and I’m right there. I am running my way out of being Darklost but its been difficult. Last two days I did 1 mile in under 13 minutes and very close to 12. When I started, I thought a mile under 15 minutes would be an accomplishment. It’s amazing how much better I feel after running. I’ve been using my favorite hot celeb. as inspiration (It’s working!)

The Twilight soundtrack’s first few songs are great for working out to. I seriously think they put Twilight’s soundtrack together for all the Mom fans.Speaking of mom fans I saw a grandmother reading Breaking Dawn at the pool today sitting next to her teenage grandkid :)

Seems to me like darklost is another word for depressed. BabyLust is a word I also use for depression related to infertility, sometimes I still have it, but not when my toddler is being toddler-ish.

This article kinda shocked me. It probably rings true for me. example: depressed/ anxious undergrad gpa 2.7 “recovering” gradschool gpa 3.8

Students with both depression and anxiety had especially poor academic performance.

“If you take a student at the 50th percentile of the GPA distribution and compare them to a student with depression alone, the depressed student would be around the 37th percentile—a 13 percent drop,” Eisenberg said. “However, a student with depression and anxiety plummets to about the 23rd percentile, a 50 percent drop.”

….but the question is am I going to let that get in the way of furthering my graduate studies?

Bella’s Pregnancy

Damn straight pregnancy is scary even under “approved circumstances”. I happened to read Breaking Dawn (BD) right after I had undergone surgery due to IUFD (fetal death/miscarriage) for the second time. This being my third miscarriage and all I thought I had the drill down. Dissappointingly I do not have a copy of BD at my fingertips so bear with me as I try to describe what I think Stephanie Meyer is subconsiously saying about pregnancy and motherhood with her last book. Pregnancy is extremely tenuous. Eventually it breaks you down and tears you apart, no matter the outcome.

Bella is broken down and torn apart quite literally in BD. Every miscarriage, abortion, and/or birth takes a little something from the woman going through it. That old cliche comes to mind…whenever a door is closed another is opened. It’s not all doom and gloom, there are lessons to be learned in each experience. Right now I feel like I need extra time and space to figure it out.

Moshie Speak

Favorite words/phrases

ass-in – medicine
dats lucky
ewww kitty puke
dada hair problem

From the backseat of the car:

You guys are driving me craaa-zy!

At dinner:

I want Au Jus,Please!

Your Kidding me!

As huz and I discuss “issues” or “problems” at dinner. Problem refers to “hair problem” apparently. Some background huz shaved off all of his hair and told Moshie it might pop out again.:

It pop out.

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